Half-Part of Me

U noe, if anyone could ever understand me, im willingly give my life for that person sake... of course,without involving others... cause, i dont even understand myself... y do people said dat im lucky to have diz, to have dat, to choose over diz or dat...y people said dat when u have a preety girlfriend, u r lucky? y do people said dat everyperson who are gifted wiv good look are lucky?

y cant people think wat will be the outcome of my future and things dat i sacrificed if i were to have diz & dat, choose diz over dat? i hate people like dat...i dun choose diz over dat or dat over diz without thinking, without sacrififing sumthing dat are important to me...ive sacrifice many things to gain sumthing...which most lead to sumthing dat i cant say good coz its bad...i cant c da future for god's sake...

i judge n do my action according to da situation though sumtimes i do get overreacted, or seems like i cant control my anger... im used to be a hot-headed boy with uncontrollable anger n within a split second, i can b moody n just shout mad at those who try to understand me(maybe)... now,ive changed a bit... i managed to control it somehow, strain myself from shouting at others, do stupid things dat hurt people... i realized im not a boy anymore... but wiv da current me, im not qualified to b called man yet... wat am i? a guy? help me realize who am i... im hopeless in this matter... diz side of me is da most annoying n helpless dat i always feel useless, unforgivable, moron...

actually, i dun intend to wrote bout those crap... hahaha, its just in my situation, i dun have sum1 to tell bout it... so i write it in diz blog... u noe wat, i can b a nice friend from afar, when u try to get closer, u will just get pain... dats y i have a limit in friends... though i can click wiv almost evry1... im not as closed as u think i am... being fake-friendly is my no 1 skill so dat i dun look rude... i dunno how to be friendly in da 1st place... so, this fake-friendly is wat i usually greet u all wiv... not because im trying to hurt ur feeling... im using it to secured my own... u dunno wat da hell ive been through in diz life dat ive been living, so am i to u... so, im sorry from da bottom of my heart if my fake-friendly ever hurt u... im very fragile inside... cant b helped... im full of doubt n curiousity... if i ever stayed wiv an answer, dat would b the answer from my instict or my heart... coz wiv my brain n rationality, im not as gud as u all...

im done, i dun think im gonna b a good keeper this weekend coz sincerely, both my wrist was once dislocated n da pain suddenly reappeared after da last match... ill try my best... even if it'll take my left hand, my right hand cannot give la, want to answer exam mcm mane if tarak? hahaha... ill give my evry guts i have for the sake of the team im in... i hate losing coz ive lose to much...

so my blog-friends...so long, n good luck wiv ur final paper :)

P/S : da feeling in my heart rite now is =l